Thank you, Ari. Spot-on and brilliant. I don't watch television, I haven't the time, but your observations about the transitioning process and its motivations are important for others to see.
Lynn Conway, one of the icons of our community, died last year at 86. Her story is worth reading.
One of the quotes from the main page of her umich website, she was an emeritus professor of computer science, quickly became a favorite of mine. It asks the same questions you do.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life? – Mary Oliver, from the end of her poem, The Summer Day
It's so much more than just shedding what you aren't and embracing what you are and can become. It's about authenticity, about not having to apologize for being... well, you.
If I had to leave a takeaway from my transition, it would be this: When we start down this path, there is no guarantee of success for something that we've not done before in our lives, and whose destination is unknown. It's the courage to chart a course, one that looks so different for each and every one of us, having the faith that taking back our agency to live authentically is enough to motivate us to get through the tough times. The closest things that humans experience to this kind of faith is spiritual belief, and love.
Funny thing is, no one ever questions pursuing one's spirituality or falling in love and taking a chance. Maybe that's because neither of those are permanent changes that cannot be reversed. And yet, so many of us pursue a path through a one way door because the need to be 'us' is so strong that we summon a bravery that only few who live outside of being trans will ever really get to experience.
I did this not to hide, but to finally spread my wings and fly. To not feel shame or fear that my feathers are so brightly colored. To believe in something because it finally means living. To understand that the alternative is to twist on a string in a monochrome world devoid of passion or a reason to keep going.
And yes, given the same choice with the same risks and difficulty, I would choose to do this again and again and again.
It's not hubris to believe that we cannot fail... it's the confidence to approach this as an adventure that so few will ever know the joy to partake in. It is that confidence that gives us the feeling of being somehow a little more special. In a world that does not value individuality and non-conformance, that's priceless.
Thank you, Ari. Spot-on and brilliant. I don't watch television, I haven't the time, but your observations about the transitioning process and its motivations are important for others to see.
Lynn Conway, one of the icons of our community, died last year at 86. Her story is worth reading.
https://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/LynnsStory.html
One of the quotes from the main page of her umich website, she was an emeritus professor of computer science, quickly became a favorite of mine. It asks the same questions you do.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life? – Mary Oliver, from the end of her poem, The Summer Day
It's so much more than just shedding what you aren't and embracing what you are and can become. It's about authenticity, about not having to apologize for being... well, you.
If I had to leave a takeaway from my transition, it would be this: When we start down this path, there is no guarantee of success for something that we've not done before in our lives, and whose destination is unknown. It's the courage to chart a course, one that looks so different for each and every one of us, having the faith that taking back our agency to live authentically is enough to motivate us to get through the tough times. The closest things that humans experience to this kind of faith is spiritual belief, and love.
Funny thing is, no one ever questions pursuing one's spirituality or falling in love and taking a chance. Maybe that's because neither of those are permanent changes that cannot be reversed. And yet, so many of us pursue a path through a one way door because the need to be 'us' is so strong that we summon a bravery that only few who live outside of being trans will ever really get to experience.
I did this not to hide, but to finally spread my wings and fly. To not feel shame or fear that my feathers are so brightly colored. To believe in something because it finally means living. To understand that the alternative is to twist on a string in a monochrome world devoid of passion or a reason to keep going.
And yes, given the same choice with the same risks and difficulty, I would choose to do this again and again and again.
It's not hubris to believe that we cannot fail... it's the confidence to approach this as an adventure that so few will ever know the joy to partake in. It is that confidence that gives us the feeling of being somehow a little more special. In a world that does not value individuality and non-conformance, that's priceless.
Very well written ,You feel it deep down in that spot that’s a box inside of box that can only be told by someone who has walked in her shoes Be Well
Fantastic
Beautiful